I grew up in the Christian, Methodist tradition and believe it gave me the early progressive roots that I apply today. This faith along with my parents support and teaching in the house has helped to inform a lot of what I believe and act on as a productive citizen. It’s true, “important adults in our early life help create our core beliefs and therefore, how we act, think, and feel from them.”
In high school and college, I found a tribe in the Evangelical church and even went on to make my first career based on its theology, restrictions, and music. Most of the time, I knew that this set of core beliefs were not my family’s beliefs. I could feel how the E church restricted me as a woman and as a person and as a musician…but I thought, and was taught at the time, that I would be “better” if I listened and applied the values of the E Church.
Looking back, I am glad that I felt uncomfortable and that I held loosely the submission of my True Self while serving at the pleasure of Evangelical ideas. Still, I spent 25 years of my life navigating its lies. Its tentacles found their way into my core beliefs, blurring them and confusing the way I acted, thought, and felt. I have spent the last 7 years healing and digging down to the progressive roots I abandoned.
This is the first of 3 posts in the next week. Not only will it be for my own mental and future health, but maybe for someone else.
We all have huge goals…well most of us do. Goals that we know we can reach but for some reason are avoid. For some reason, doubt. For some reason, fear. Before me is just such a goal.
My thinking goes like this – I have a fear of success. Maybe I also have a fear of unending hard work. But for sure, I doubt that I can reach the goal. I want to reach it – but I don’t think I can. Wow! Great place to start… Everyday I must transform my mind to believe I can! Believe I am worthy!
How will I reach it…? One habit…One successful task reached…and one small goal at a time. And by being my own best friend and support. We can reach huge audacious goal. One mindset at a time.
Recently my singing/speaking voice has decreased in range, partly due to a lack of practice, over use as I lecture in college classes, and pushing the bounds of style. But what about the “beliefs I have about myself?” How does a decreased self-confidence and stress effect my voice – and my Voice?
According to Christiane Northrup, M.D., “we are taught from an early age that our health is largely the result of our genetic heritage, whether or not we’ve been immunized, how many supplements we take, and how much exercise we get. There is no doubt that these factors can contribute to our state of health. But their influence pales in comparison to the power of our beliefs and attitudes.”
Take a moment to document the stress coming at you from the outside. Are you pushing it aside or breathing through it? Do these stressors include work, increased work, care for your family, increased care for family, and maybe a change in your own physical health? Is it the weather and how weather effects these stressors? In any case, you and your health are a lot more important than what our culture wants us to achieve. And how I view and believe in myself is too.
Take time to calibrate and understand this connection. It may help save your life making it richer, bolder, and healthier.
Susan waited outside the door of my studio for her lesson time as another woman finished singing “I Dreamed a Dream.” When I opened the door to let my Fantine out and let Susan in, she w
as crying. She had waited 30 years to return to a voice lesson and now the time had arrived. Susan was a voice major in college and after graduation, life stepped in to steal her away for a job that would give her security, respect, and a predictable life.
Now, 30 years later, she was exploring the person she had left behind, set on the shelf and the anticipation brought tears to her eyes. When you hear the true sound of your own voice singing….It opens a place within your soul that either – you didn’t know existed or didn’t know could be re-found. Try a lesson and you will be overwhelmed with the possibility of a MORE abundant life that is waiting for you to step in.
“Using my voice to help others find theirs.”
About a month ago, my longtime friend and close college “bestie” let me know she would be traveling to NYC from her country, Sweden in July. Did I or anyone want to meet up with her? Well it took about .5 seconds to say yes…but I wasn’t sure about New York. I have never been. As I began to plan, my husband reminded me that I have been to many big cities around the world and I enjoyed taking classes in Chicago last summer…Y-not NYC?
Well, I made my plans and here I sit – looking out the window of my sweet tiny apartment. Sunflower, no doubt, to welcome me. In the morning I will meet up with my long-time friend over coffee. She will attend her class and I will hit a few sights.
To be honest, my jury is still out on NYC. I never thought I would ever visit here. I am gradually opening my heart and mind to this “incredible,” “energetic,” “amazing” city as you all have said. Let’s see if I can adjust to the sticky humidity and then I am sure I will find the joy over the next few days.
I watched “Iron Jawed Angels” tonight on Youtube. Hilary Swank plays the role of suffragette, Alice Paul. And, let me say… if there was ever any pause in my support of women…in my understanding of equality…and in my gratitude for my right to vote, it has been decided. The movie runs from 1912 to Aug 26, 1920 (a date we all should honor). It is a well told and amazing story. (Unfortunately, the music was not to my liking but I am a music snob in some ways, I digress).
While watching this show, I read about a young 14 yr old former student of mine on Facebook. Her mother was asking for options because the daughter is facing daily sexual harassment. In conjunction with my movie, I can only surmise that our country has gained mere inches in the equality of all women? Of all people? Where we should have gained miles.
Take a look at this movie. Dig into your Feminist History. And enjoy the innate power that not only lies within each woman and girl in this world, but the creativity, honor, and advancement that await our country when women lead!
I love the #metoo movement, #timesup, and other efforts to bring a focus to equality. I will now join the steps to advance these actions. For this is a way my VOICE can be strengthened and heard. And for my SONG to be sung.
Wherever you are right now, is exactly where you need to be. As you sit and wait for opportunity or chance or others to fulfill your hopes, you are exactly where you need to be. Maybe you are working hard to carve out a path, a life, a greater opportunity…exactly the right place. And that place is PRESENT. Be present.
You can plan, schedule, reward, and enjoy but in any situation, be exactly where you are. Be present. Breathe and look and live. The seeds you planned last Tuesday are beginning to move and grow. The seeds you sowed last month have sprouted and are heading back your way. And the relationships you made years ago need to be nurtured. Because you need to be nurtured. You work so hard planting the seeds, and giving, and producing. Take a breath. Be present. All will come your way in its time.
And your country….it is (for good or bad) exactly where it needs to be. It is a mirror, a gut-check, and a reality call on the deep dark wounds of the past. It is a small child hoping for care. And it has seeds that were planted years ago growing as we speak. Do not despair, breathe and know that at this very moment, you are exactly where you need to be.
Rest, receive help from others, and restore. The plants that will push through the soil next week will require your attention. Take this time to become ready….because next week…that is where you will need to be in those exact moments.
“I am a necessary part of the story.” I am a ripple in the water. My words and ideas contribute to the flow of this world. And they make an impression on those around me…for sad and for good. I am a flower that blooms from a seed. And I produce seeds that fall on vaccunt and fertile land. My part of the story is evolving, healing, inspired, and crashing into the next stages that I am creating. I am standing, waiting, and humbled – In the River. Find me Here.
The French mathematician, La Verrier made a wild suggestion that there might be “something” beyond the planet, Uranus. He thought “something” was pulling on its orbit causing irregular patterns. La Verrier was correct and later used math to discover the planet Neptune.
This week, I have enjoyed many surprises from the gifts of my Universe. I have an ongoing invitation to new and exciting discoveries. I have opened my mind and life to the possibilities beyond running a music studio and teaching voice lessons. Something seems to be pulling on my orbit pattern.
In the months to come, I will enjoy listening, feeling and partaking in the invitation to the Neptunes and other beauties. What is calling me to complete the, “Who I Am and How I can Give to this World” story? Consider unknown planets beyond the orbit of your work and daily schedule. Consider the possibility of a Neptune in your life.
Two Years ago, I asked myself the question: “What do you want.” Until this week, I couldn’t answer the question. The answer is …. “Not This!” Let’s continue the Voice and Song.