For months, I have been carrying around this torn out page from an old Oprah magazine. I am drawn to its colors, design and enduring message. This message is for me. And to be honest – the journey is all I have. I can’t guarantee the outcome of any event or relationship, but I can work them out and enjoy myself. I can always end a journey by selling my business or accepting another adventure. I guess the present moment is a lot cooler than I give it credit for.
This month my journey has led me to a few coffee dates with some very interesting and connected people. With each one, I had the privilege of telling my story and being surprised by our similarities. A CEO of a national company, the director of a small theater and the president of a non-profit arts organization all have journies they are excited about. Projects and risk, hopes and expectations that have no guarantee= enjoying the journey. Maybe that is why their lives are so exciting.
I guess I have still been thinking that after all this work, I will plateau and enjoy the ride. But, that isn’t true – AND, I am not allowing myself to enjoy it. James Clear writes, “Your concern is to do the work, not to judge it. Your concern is to fall in love with the process, not to grade the outcome. Keep your eyes on your own paper.” The journey is everything – and if others come along….awesome.
The word for today in church was, gift. Have you ever considered yourself a gift? Or that what you have to offer yourself, others and the world is your gift? Well, consider it because this is the thing you have been looking for. Yes, understanding that you are gift begins to close out all the noise, crap and false self conversations around you. To see myself as gift, I can say no to unimportant offers, controlling colleagues and mismatched partners.
For 388 weeks, my all time favorite book has been on the New York Best Sellers List. This week at #3, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, is 1 of 3 things I would take to a dessert island (chocolate cake and water being the other 2), because it takes me back to a child place when I knew I was gift. Another story with similar insights is the Wizard of Oz. I hope to connect the two in my next post.
Consider the birds, children and the beauty of nature. They all know they are gift. Small children naturally live a life that expresses their unique gift-ness. After a 3 month capitalistic season of over gift-giving…. just think, you have been here all along. You are the greatest gift.
There is a beautiful song by the Sundays titled, “I Can’t Wait.” She sings about all the thoughts in her head – with no reflection in her life. I completely empathize and know it’s time to change that and enter a journey of metanoia. I want to enjoy a time of vulnerability, rest and real life acceptance. A way of matching up all the thoughts in my head to small actions in my life. I hope you will share your thoughts and enjoy the journey with me. The blogs will begin again on January 2, 2016.
The transitions from one phase of my life to the next are really a process of looking for a door. I have wandered into job interviews, relationships and quiet meditation in search for the door that will take me to my next reality. Sometimes it has been the right door and other times it is just, the next door.
On the evening of July 31, 2015, I spent a few hours at home by myself. I drank some beer, ate an entire chicken sandwich then ice cream, watched bad popular culture TV, ate potato chips and finally drove to the store to buy something, anything. It was at the store that I realized that all these bad choices were an effort to “find the next door.” I don’t believe I am in a life transition but a seasonal transition. That night I was trying to shake off the hard hot summer of building my business and helping young singers realize their goals and walk into two weeks of rest.
All those vices I tried were like half open windows and closet doors. They aren’t hurtful just mildly demeaning. For me…the realization of the process is the way to my door. My body will shed all that junk and my journey will continue. I have found the door.